Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
