I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
