Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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