people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
NoShamevember. You game?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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