He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
