: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
