I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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