According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Your penis caused this!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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