OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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