Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
