Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
