Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
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mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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