what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
