I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Randomize
