The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
