Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize