yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
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Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes