You work out of a Hotel?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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