I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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