if you like me you must not know who I am
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
