I must be too annoying 4 u.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
