he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
