We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
