I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
