Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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