So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
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You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
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Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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