What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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