Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
time to smoke my breakfast
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
