We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
