i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
