he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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