in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
