Your face is a jimmy john
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize