What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
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He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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