I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
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Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
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What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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