I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
