What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
