We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
