Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
