If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
