he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
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That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
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My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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