I have demons in me.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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