did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
