i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
