i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
