I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
