Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she looked like the before picture.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
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She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
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The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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