Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize