saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
