ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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