Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
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he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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