cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
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It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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