i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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