So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize