escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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