Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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