Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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